Heart surgery

Today we finally got a date for Chases heart surgery scheduled. I was so impatient these last two weeks while we waited, and thought that I would feel a huge weight lifted, but I can't say that I feel much better. I am more nervous. I think it is just of the unknown. How will he do, will he be scared? How much pain will he be in, will I be able to cuddle with him. It is our little thing that he loves. Will he sleep okay, I know I won't be, camping out next to him on a cot. But I can't imagine being anywhere else. I feel like a mess, out of control. I am normally very much in control of things, but not with this. We knew it would come someday, but maybe it just wasn't in my reality. It is now a reality. I am so grateful that I have my rock. He has kept me grounded that everything will be okay, I can't imagine this without him.